Tuesday, 29 November 2016

I Can't !

Blue Tit in Willow Tree
2016

I am still on bird feeding duties while my husband is recovering from surgery.  There is one bird feeder that I haven't been able to fill though and this morning my husband noticed it was empty. It is the one that holds the tiny black Niger seed for the chaffinches. I haven't filled it for a reason. It is  high on a branch, hidden in one of the willow trees in our garden. The Blue Tits usually line up on its' branches as they take it in turns to feed from the usual bird feeder nearby.

"I can't reach"

I told my husband why I hadn't filled thsi feeder and he smiled.  Over the years whenever I have said I can't do something he has encouraged me to try.  He mockingly says" I can't do it" to me, in a way that drives me nuts. But the strange thing is by him making me do things I have achieved so much.

For example. Years ago I hated driving long distances and my husband would always act as driver if we had to go anywhere. But then came an offer of my first book and I had a meeting with my publishers to attend. " Can you drive me there " I pleaded at the time. " No" was the response. He explained "This will be the first of many meetings so you either drive or don't write a book." Five books later I now drive anywhere and with confidence.

" I can't do it"

How many times have I heard that line in my workshops.

I constantly hear....

"You make it look so easy"
" I haven't been painting long, I can't do it"
"I would love to paint but I know I can't" 
"I'd like to paint portraits but I can't"
"I can't paint in a loose style" 
I can't paint flowers"

The list is endless.

But "I can't" is all that is stopping many of us. Those words.

"I can't"

I believe we can.

If we try and if we really want to.

And so while my husband was out walking I went and stood and looked at the Niger feeder in the tree in our garden. It was empty.  By the side of it sat a small blue tit , I imagined his expression  telling me " You can't". in fact to me it was clearly written on his tiny face. I went and found the Niger seed . With determination I stood on tip toe and reached for the feeder. After a while I got it down, filled it and put it back in the tree for the birds to enjoy.

I walked back into our cottage and smiled. I did it. It wasn't a case of " I can't" after all. It was a case of my not even trying. 

And then I thought " I have never painted a blue tit before" And it occurred to me that "I can't" !

I need to paint another as I am not happy with the above painting. But I tried.  And if I try harder I know I can paint one!

So now over to you. 

What are you saying " I can't" over?


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